But Bill Gates is an Honorable man
Friends, Coders, Net Junkies, lend me your ears,
I come to praise Windows, not bury it!
The good of code like this is oft talked up;
The cost is buried in the legal crap.
So let it be with Windows. The noble Gates
Hath told you Windows quite cheap and good.
If it were so, it is a coding feat,
And Windows rightly spread across the Earth.
Here, under leave of Bill gates and the rest –
For Bill Gates is an honorable man,
So is Microsoft, honorable all –
Come I to speak ’bout Window’s legal state.
I don’t use it, it costs just too darn much.
But Bill Gates says it is quite cheap and good,
And Bill gates is an honorable man.
It crashed each day and disappointed me,
Then crashed my bank, ’cause good code don’t come free.
Did this in Windows seem affordable?
I saw BSOD, but Windows didn’t care.
Good code, I think, should always try() and catch().
Yet Bill Gates says it is good code, and cheap,
And Bill Gates is an Honorable man.
You saw they were accused, “Monopoly!”
Convicted guilty and then forced to change,
But they did not. Is this good business form?
Yet Bill Gates says it is quite cheap and good,
And sure, he is an honorable man.
I speak not to disprove what Bill Gates says,
But here I am to speak what I do know.
You all have used it ’cause “its all that’s out”.
Why then do you not cry “Monopoly!”
O Judgement, thou are fled to stupid beasts,
And men have lost all reason!
Bear with me.
My heart is buried with my lost choices,
And I pause til I afford Vista.
–Snarky’s Life, Act 21, Scene 8