“Just” Friends
Sorry, that was the best title I could think of for this post, and sorry, this'll be one of my more personal posts (though relevant to society as a whole). This isn't a dig at relationships, though it would make a good title for that as well, but a post about friendship, what it means to me, to society, and what it SHOULD mean.
To start with, I'll identify the problem. The issue here is that the word "friend" has lost all meaning in our society. Look at a few common applications.
- AIM - "Buddy" or "Friend" list... these get huge, especially those of college freshman girls (I shudder to remember the days of cleaning their systems... curse the dorms!) and are typically people you seldom talk to, sometimes go out of your way to avoid.
- Online games (Think MMOs) - These all have "Friends" lists, which are almost always people you haven't met, and will never meet online.
- Social Communities (MySpace, Facebook... etc) - Through personal studies I can tell you random friend invitations get about a 50% acceptance. Especially among college freshmen. Even the school you go to barely affects this.
- Blogs - Most blogs let you have a "friends" list which will typically have more real-life friends than not, but it is still easy to find random groups and people in friends lists.
Now, I feel these definitions are seeping into society as we know it. Maybe its just living on a college campus, but I see tons of people that will be "friends" with someone, only to turn around and say how much they dislike them. Take a campus bus, listen to conversations, I can bet you'll find evidence of this as well. I realy hate that the word friend is so casual now.
So, why do I care? A long time ago I had some bad friends... I won't get that personal on this blog, so I'll leave it at bad friends. Ever since then, I've taken my own meaning for "friend", and it never involves "just". To me, a friend is someone I would die for, no less. My friends know they can call me at 4am for a designated driver, or bum money off me to get home in an emergency. They know my feelings come second, and I will damn sure go to war (literally, or figurtively) or them if need be. Because of this I don't make "friends" easily. I'll get aquainted with someone, sure, but you're not a friend of mine unless.. well... hard to put into words... there'll come a time when I just realize, you're in that category somehow. The easiest way to get on my hate list (very short, consisting purely of certain States and one person right now) is to assume friendship immediately. Because you're placing yourself on a list that you have no right touching, and I can't stand it when people assume we're gonna be just the best pals right off. Sure, I could work on that, and I think my definition of friend could (read: should) be expanded, but for now that's where I stand.
I should point out that I have made friends with some people via the Internet first, though I wouldn't have called them true friends until after I met them in person, so I'm not saying that's impossible, just at the level of online "friends" we see now it needs to change.
And why should the world care? Because without friends you have nothing. I don't mean "friends" from some random online gaming community (such as Nearby Gamers) but real friends who're looking out for ya. I've had some issues the past coupla weeks, and a few friends stepped up and helped me out a ton. For that I couldn't be more thankful, but it occured to me that I was actually really screwing over another friend of mine by NOT being there for them.
So, why should you even care about this post? Because the world always needs more good friends. I don't care if that person double crossed you in a game, spread a rumor, or what have you. If someone was your friend, that stands for smething, regardless of circumstances. I've got some friends right now that... well I'm not too happy with, sorry to say. Yet even then I've stood up next to them when I thought a fight was about to start because there is no way I'm letting someone I considered a friend at any point in time get a beating with me there. Please, spread this kind of friendship, and lets take the "just" out of it.
