Kalimat al-Mutafalsif

Well, this post will live up to my nickname... If you don't know why, well, go check a dictionary. And yea, should be some good laughs.

Valentine's Day is all about spending time with the one you love...

Your computer!

That's right people, who do you spend your time with? What's more romantic then falling asleep by the light of a server? Gently flickering in the network traffic... rising and falling with the Slashdot spikes and subsequent crash. Peaceful...

Maybe the sound of a Hard Drive quietly seeking in the middle of the night? Searching for its Two's Complement that it will never find in a RAID 0.

These and more scenes pour through my mind, and i desire to share with you a true Geek's Valentine's Day. Erm... V4l3n+in3'5 |)4\'

I came up with some good poetry to share with a loved one... really people, give it to them without reading it... Please...

Then of course, I felt the need to break into the world of LiveJournal Quizzes. Yea, I think they're stupid, but I've combined some tricks from my Phishing course (public database searches) with a GREAT heuristical module from the http://push.cx guy that allows for near perfect ascertation of your True Love (tm). I'm presently seeking a patent for it, to market to online dating searches, so please, try it out. It'll pull from your LiveJournal, as well as a few public databases, AIM log servers, and even birth records. Trust me. It works.

Once you've found that Special Someone, perhaps you need to talk to them? Stutter when you talk to girls like I do? No problem, speak binary at them! By the time they understand it, you'll be long gone and in teh safety of your server room.

Now, ladies, I know, it's unfair to thrust all these Geeks upon you like that, so here's a handy thingy to reverse it! Make them talk, and find out how witty, and funny, and sexy they are!

Well, I hope ya'll enjoyed Inyragvarf Day as much as I did. Well... as much as I did AT it, not WITH it.

If I leave you with anything, just remember, Geeks are people too. Ok, I lie, we're subhuman, but we DO have feelings.